A few years ago, I decided to take up sewing in hopes of avoiding dementia. My reasoning was that if I had to problem-solve in an unfamiliar media, I could keep grey matter alive longer.
I bought a machine, took a few lessons and began to make things. I became fascinated with different fabrics, how they are made, different colors, different patterns, ways hey could be cut up and sewn together to make useful things.
It wasn't long until I ran into some quilters and then things really changed! In the company of other women I have learned so much more than how to sew: stories of their lives that make up the colorful fabric of life and I never tire of listening to them.
This sisterhood of women is as old as time and as vital as the new day. Anita Diamant writes in the novel The Red Tent about the lives of women in Jacob's tribe, the details of which the men knew little or nothing at all. The women paid lip service to their master but when push came to shove, they relied on each other and the advice of their mothers for survival.
Lisa See writes in Snow Flower and the Secret Fan , about Chinese women with bound feet, who went so far as to have a secret language for communication with each other in their highly regimented lives.
Once when I was overseas with the Air Force, another nurse brought in some of her quilts. It wasn’t long until the small clinic room was filled with women admiring her work, the fabric, and patterns. Few of us spoke a common language but we all understood the language of quilting and language of sisterhood.
Whether a culture values women or not, this ancient yet active sisterhood creates a strong fiber for the culture.
Sewing around the tables at the Quilt Retreat, my quilt sisters discussed husbands, children, grandchildren, illnesses, treatments, recipes, house repair, and which car gets the best gas mileage among other things. The ladies’ ages range from 19 to 76 years and all are animated and energetic in their enjoyment of life.
The youngest woman will marry this summer. She asked everyone to write down their advice for a happy marriage. She ended up with three pages of detailed notes, more than I can remember now!
What advice would you give her?
4 comments:
Asking for advice outside the sisterhood?
The only advice I have would be that she should insure friendship abides in the relationship, in addition to love. Love can be fragile, and when it is, strong friendship will pull them through difficulties.
I know there are differences between Mars and Venus, but from your description of your conversations, I think you'd be surprised at how closely they track with the conversations four guys in Galveston had after the boat was safely in the dock. I don't recall discussing any recipes, but I'm pretty sure most of the rest of your subjects came up during our chats.
Women are smarter than men.....they have to be to survive in a world where people who are physically stronger dominate. I'm glad you found a hobby that provides you with mental stimulation and relaxation.....isn't that the description of therapy? How wonderful that this therapy produces the art that is quilting!
Welcome back.
Blog On!
Become friends if you are not already. Stay friends. Go to bed as lovers and friends, wake up as friends and lovers. Take time to say "I love you" often. Do not rush these times. Savor them! Share stories, dreams, wants and needs. Everyone has thoses. Your partner needs to hear about them. Do not be afraid to talk......... A little communication goes a long way. Be truthful, trustful and respectful along the way. Give space when space is needed. Everyone deserves and needs to have some space. But, most of all - enjoy each others company! This is my recipe for a good marriage. Blend these together. Heat on medium high, stirring occasionally ( but, do not allow to burn) and then let cool as appropriate. Do this and your marriage should be one for the ages!
PT - Greybeard is right as usual. Brotherhood is not much different than Sisterhood. I'm glad that you enjoyed your Quilting time as much as we enjoyed our Fishing time. I'll bet you caught more quilts than we did fish, though. Beer and cigars are a different matter, though, I hope.... Glad that you are back safe and sound. Have I told you how much I am looking forward to the mini???
Never go to bed mad. Learn to say you are sorry and mean it. Put your mate's needs before others and always respect them, even if you think they say dumb things. Never laugh at them in public and never downgrade them. Let them have opinions and remember, you are not always right.
Laugh at their jokes and feed them good, they will automatically remember where home is.
I see that you're into sewing. I get my great deals from sewing supplies online. If you're interested. Great blog:)
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